THIS JUST IN

THIS JUST IN

thisjustin  //  We're writers of This Just In -- the iPhone app that delivers 10-15 jokes a day to your pocket! Here's where we post our jokes, thoughts, rants, etc.

 
Jan 5 / 1:49pm

Get A Leg Up!

by Fred Graver

Pepsi will be distributing limited edition "Throwback Pepsi" and "Throwback Mountain Dew," both of which are loaded with real cane sugar.  The move is expected to result in widespread "Throwback Gout."

- Erik Lundy, Via This Just In 

 
Jan 5 / 1:47pm

Our Basic Instinct..

by Fred Graver

Sharon Stone is set to join the cast of Law and Order. Insert (so to speak) interrogation scene joke here. 

- Dan Telfer, Via This Just In 

 
Jan 5 / 1:47pm

MMMMMm... Waffles!

by Fred Graver

Eggo has released a new line of Star Trek Waffles featuring images of the characters. The waffles can be covered in syrup or jelly, but that would be highly illogical.

- Erik Lundy, Via This Just In 

 
Dec 30 / 2:56pm

Jeff Dunham Cancelled...

by Fred Graver

Comedy Central has cancelled "The Jeff Dunham Show," claiming that his racist puppets were no match for the ones on Fox News. 

 

- Martin Moakler, via This Just In. 

 
Dec 29 / 1:35pm

BOMBING IN DETROIT

by Fred Graver

Experts say that the explosive device used by the would-be Detroit bomber contained a chemical commonly used in the 80’s. Who knew anyone in Detroit could still afford cocaine.

 

- Erik Lundy via This Just In

 
Dec 29 / 1:24pm

THE DETROIT BOMBER

by Fred Graver

Homeland Security officials are under fire for ignoring the warnings of a Nigerian Banker who told them that his son may have joined a terrorist group and had plans to attack the U.S. The officials are claiming that "After 'Nigerian Banker,' we stopped reading the email. C'mon, we get a hundred of those a day!" 

 

- Chase Roper, Via This Just In 

 
Dec 29 / 1:20pm

CHARLIE SHEEN

by Fred Graver

Charlie Sheen's wife is now saying that he straddled her on the bed, choking her while holding a knife. Or, as the girls on "Jersey Shore," call it "A Proposal." 

- Nick Siracuse, via This Just In 

 
Dec 29 / 1:19pm

PAULA DEEN

by Fred Graver

A designer and manufacturer of gift wrap and stationery has made a licensing agreement with celebrity chef Paula Deen. To reflect Paula’s cooking, all of her paper products will double as grease-absorbing napkins. 

- Paul Seaburn, via This Just In 

 
Dec 23 / 6:38am

ROBIN HOOD?

by Fred Graver

A Catholic priest in England told his congregation it’s okay to steal if you need to, as long as it’s from a large corporation. He was later berated by Church superiors who said, “Hey, stupid – we are a large corporation!”

- Becky Kershman, via This Just In 

 
Dec 22 / 12:56pm

BY A NOSE!

by Fred Graver

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has seen a rise in his approval rating since he was hit in the face last week. Democrats are urging Americans to similarly help Joe Lieberman.

- Becky Kershman, via This Just In.